请各位帮忙看下这篇英文短信有没有什么语法,格式等之类的错误,有的话请指出,虚心求教.谢谢!Dearxxx,Mynameisxxx,I'man18-year-old,whoisagirlfromxxCity,xxProvince,China.Well,sinceIwatched”xxx"

Question

请各位帮忙看下这篇英文短信有没有什么语法,格式等之类的错误,有的话请指出,虚心求教.谢谢!
Dear xxx ,
My name is xxx ,I'm an 18-year-old ,who is a girl from xxCity,xxProvince,China.Well,since I watched ”xxx" I am totally fall in love with it and your excellent performance.After that ,I also watch your other works,they are absolutely perfect.
At this time of Spring Festival,we all prepare to celebrate it. You know, Spring Festival is a traditional festival.On that day ,families are getting together to greeting each other. So now ,I express my sincere wish to you and may you success in work.Please take good care of yourself.
I expect you to come to China for a visit,especially to my hometown .I can be your guide!
Looking forward to your reply !
farewell.

Yours sincerely,
xxx

Answer 1

I'm an 18-year-old ,who is a girl from xxCity,xxProvince,China.应该为
I'm an 18-year-old girl who is from xxCity ,xxProvince in China.
I am totally fall in love with it and your excellent performance 中去掉am,fall改为 fell,
At this time of "the" Spring Festival
to greeting each other中greeting应改为greet
may you success 改为may you succeed或may you make success
英语信件中一般不用farewell.多用些祝福的话语,如Best wishes!等、