英语六级作文,请各位大侠看看有什么语法上的问题伐?livingwithparentsaftergraduationEveryyear,therearealotofgraduatescomingtothecurrentsociety.Someofthemarewillingtostrivefortheirbetterlifebythemselves,bu

Question

英语六级作文,请各位大侠看看有什么语法上的问题伐?living with parents after graduation
Every year,there are a lot of graduates coming to the current society.Some of them are willing to strive for their better life by themselves,but now more and more graduates choose to live together with their parents.
The reason for this strange phenomenon is obvious.Firstly,both the high price of housing and the stress of work are the biggest factor.Graduates can't afford an apartment or rent it with so little wage,and they are too busy to have enough time to make supper.On the other hand,students ,in current life ,are lack of some ambition,comparing to our parents.last ,these reason lead them to living with their parents.
In my view .I think a lot of thing are doomed ,beyond our control ,such as the background of our family ,parent's estate,and everyone is living in a diferent surrounding.So ,parents can't claim their children to live by themselves,but must urge kids to strive .

Answer 1

1.coming to the current society 中式英文
2.are willing to 改用 would like to 较好,their better life 改成 the better life
3.but now 这里前后文的逻辑没有转折的意思,不应该用but
4.The reason...is obvious.后文中不止一个原因,这里应用复数
5.price 改用 cost,费用和压力最好选一个作为最大的因素,如果两个都要就说是两大主要原因
6.too busy to make supper 与have enough time to make语意重复,用其中一种就可以了,too busy to cook by themselves.
7.our最好不要用第一人称,用their
8.不要用last,中式英语,总结那句也是中式英语,可以换一种说法
9.thing are,要用复数
10.claim用ask for 较好,urge用encourage较好
最后一段基本是中式英语,不是语法问题,是英语语感及语序问题（个人意见）