帮我检查和修改一下这一段英文自我介绍的结尾,谢谢Allinall,xxUniversity,myalmamaster,isauniversitywithahighlyqualifiedfacultyandstrongacademicenvironment,IamfilledwithdesiretogoontostudyhereafterIw

Question

帮我检查和修改一下这一段英文自我介绍的结尾,谢谢
All in all, xx University,my alma master, is a university with a highly qualified faculty and strong academic environment, I am filled with desire to go on to study here after I will have finished my undergraduate course next year.
Living without an aim is like sailing without a compass. I believe that I will make rapid progress in my studies to be a graduate sutdent.
Thank you for your attention!
alma mater ,打错了，不是母校的意思么？

Answer 1

你这个好像问题很多啊,
1.my alma master,alma是什么东西?
2.is a university with a highly qualified faculty and strong academic environment.a highly 不需要,strong 也去掉.总感觉你这个句子不知表达什么东西.
3.I am filled with desire to go on to study here after I will have finished my undergraduate course next year.
am filled with desire 直接用desire就可以的,go on to study 改为further my study,after graduation next year.感觉总是在重复又重复,很罗嗦.
4.I believe that I will make rapid progress in my studies to be a graduate sutdent.
to be改成as.
不行,感觉你还是重新写吧...