能帮我改一下这篇作文,LPI的..能帮我改一下这篇作文吗?我是用来当复习LPI的,请细心一点看啊..什么意见我也接受,越详细越好,因为好象GRAMMERERROR多过3个的话就拿不到5了..Inthepast,peoplepicked

Question

能帮我改一下这篇作文,LPI的..
能帮我改一下这篇作文吗?我是用来当复习LPI的,请细心一点看啊..什么意见我也接受,越详细越好,因为好象GRAMMER ERROR 多过3个的话就拿不到5了..
In the past,people picked a career for its pleasure,but now money is the main reason for people choosing a job.Agree or disagree.
People of different generations display a different attitude towards their careers.In the past,people picked a career for its pleasure,but now money is the main reason for people choosing a job.I disagree with this statement because people of the past picked a career for a variety of reasons other than for (要FOR吗?) its pleasure; and people today do not pick jobs for monetary issues.
Firstly,pleasure was not the main reason for people choosing a job in the past.In fact,since life was very difficult in the past,people found it was more important to find a high paying position rather than fins a pleasant job.For example,with the attraction of high wages,many Chinese sailed to Canada for building the Canadian Pacific Railway in the early century.Moreover,with the relatively small numbers of pleasant jobs available in the past,most people were not given the opportunities to seek pleasant jobs.In addition,most pleasant jobs only available to those who are well educated.For example,to become a doctor,which was considered as a pleasant job in the past,one’s having a medical degree was essential.Since many people who lived in the past did not receive proper education,the probability for them to find a pleasant position was very small.Secondly,people today are looking for a better life than they did in the past.
People no longer choose a career for monetary issue but for other reasons.For example,with the rapid development of economy and the increasing numbers of jobs available to the work force,most people are given an opportunity to choose a job that they enjoy the most.In fact,since people today are demanding a higher quality of life style,most of them would rather choose a job that interests them the most than work in position that they find boring but high paying.According to a recent survey done by the University of British Columbia,over sixty percent of people would choose to work in a particular position based on their willing.Only twenty percent of them would pick a position for its high wages.
In conclusion,people of the past did not pick a career for its pleasure and people today do not work in a position because of money.In fact,since working is a life long matter to all of us,then it seems only reasonable that we should take very aspects into account when deciding out own careers.
I disagree with this statemnet because I could not think of any points to support it..By the way,I heard LPI markers only want simple,grammer free essays..so,i guess it is a lot simpler for me to write for the pro side

Answer 1

不要for
one’s = one's
one’s having a medical degree was essential什么意思
i want to know why you disagree with this topic?because most of the people from now is working for money,just like the illegal immagration,they come to united state just for a better life,they want to make more money for their family,they sick of living at the poor country.