英语作文求大侠帮忙改一下小女子这厢有礼了~因为后天就要考试了希望改的详细一点很多是百度翻译出来的有很多不通顺的地方见笑啦话说因为网上很少有这个题目的原创作文要是有

Question

英语作文求大侠帮忙改一下 小女子这厢有礼了~
因为后天就要考试了 希望改的详细一点 很多是百度翻译出来的 有很多不通顺的地方 见笑啦
话说因为网上很少有这个题目的原创作文 要是有同学想要拿走并不介意（以前就被拿过T-T）麻烦告诉我一声 想知道一下自己的水平
THE PERSON I AIMIRE
Everyone has his heroes in his mind that will have an effect on us.The person I admire most is my sister.She is not only very kind,but also very persevering and studious.
My sister is studying abroad.As soon as she repatriates,she will go to our grandparents’ home and help them the work around the house.Also,she often helps me with my homework.Every time people praise her success,she always laughs away.She often helps in children’s home as a volunteer.Before this,her score is not very good.But she still persists in studying hard.At last,she was graduated with honors from Middle School Attached Harbin Normal University.She met with many difficults while studying abroad.However,she insisted while working on the edge of learning and finished school.
As the saying goes “Living without an aims like sailing without a compass.” Thanks to my sister,now I know I should have a kind、persevering and studious heart.Therefore,I want to become as outstanding as her.

Answer 1

us-ourselves
persevering-perseverious
help them the work around the house.
help sb with sth/help sb do sth
laughs away 不知道什么意思
helps in children’s home/ at
her score is not very good. scores 不止一科的分数
she was graduated with honors from Middle School Attached Harbin Normal University.
这里你为什么要用被动语态 ,看不懂
met with(WITH去掉） many difficults// difficulties
she insisted while working on the edge of learning and finished school. 这句话不知道你要表达什么意思,中式表达严重
Living without an aims（S去掉） like sailing without a compass