英语作文帮我挑一下错.ThephenomenonofmoreandmorepostgraduatestudentAtpresent,moreandmorepeoplechoosetotakepartintheentranceexamsforpostgraduateschools.Generallyspeaking,thereareseveralmainreasons:thefirst,th

Question

英语作文帮我挑一下错.
The phenomenon of more and more postgraduate student
At present, more and more people choose to take part in the entrance exams for postgraduate schools. Generally speaking, there are several main reasons: the first, the employment pressure. With the madness of the university enrollment , every year the number of graduates is also increasing , in the face of university students over-supply situation , the employer selected the space larger , and for the talents all the more critical , so college graduates are forced to choose for entrance exams for postgraduate schools to obtain a jobs . Second, to achieve personal dreams. Articles by some people is the pursuit of lofty ideals, want to enrich their knowledge storage, increases in personal capacity, in order to achieve their life values. Finally , there are some people choose to entrance exams for postgraduate schools because of their age is still small , do not want to prematurity into society , not As good As entrance exams for postgraduate schools , both a higher level of education , but also it avoid severe employment situation , more than a few years the campus of free men life . The above is my analysis of the phenomenon of increasing number of postgraduate students.

Answer 1

文章条理清楚,但应注意三个理由的表达方式.文中有语法错误,有中式英语.我按你想表达的意思写了一篇,你对照看看.我们互相学习.
Nowadays, more and more college graduates choose to take the entrance examinations for postgraduate students. Generally speaking, there are some reasons for it. First, the pressure for job-hunting makes students aim for further education. With the enrollment extension of universities, the supply of graduates exceeds social demands. In this situation, the employees have to face the critical eyes of the employers and the fact that they may fail to get jobs. That’s why many students believe that there’s a greater possibility to secure a job if they have a master’s degree. Second, more and more people realize that getting educated after graduation from college is essential for personal growth. Our society is changing rapidly. It needs those equipped with knowledge. So it pushes people to enrich themselves and achieve their goals in life. The third reason is from the negative thoughts of some students. They think they are still young and they can continue to enjoy the idle life on the campus when they become postgraduate students. All these reasons above gave rise to the increasing number of postgraduate students.