求高人给作文打一下分,按高考标准,这篇是关于溺爱孩子的,满分25,Asitdepictsinthepictureabove,it’srainingcatsanddogsoutside,andyettheflowerisblossomingout.However,oncefacedwiththestormdirectly,theflowerca

Question

求高人给作文打一下分,按高考标准,这篇是关于溺爱孩子的,满分25,
As it depicts in
the picture above,it’s raining cats and dogs outside,and yet the flower is
blossoming out.However,once faced with the storm directly,the flower can not
stand against the storm any more.
The profound
meaning of the picture can be elaborated in terms of the “Green House” phenomenon,
which pointes directly to the spoiled children as well as their parents.By no
means is the phenomenon uncommon in our society.It severely resulted in what
we call “delicate children”.So I do reckon that it’s imperative to take some
measures before the situation deteriorates.Parents should take their
responsibility to make their children exposed to authentic society and
adversity,which will definitely contribute to the children’s mental health inthe long run.

Answer 1

Hi,smart kid there!
your essay is reaaaaly impressive!I must say I never see a child at your age capable of writing so organized and resonably. By the way, 'raining cats and dogs' -----funny usage! Nice shot
Basically, no grammar mistakes and adequate word choices. Owe your hard work, of course.
Yet, a tinny point might need to be elaborated. The first paragraph and the second one shall be connected more neatly. That means you may point out 'who is the flower' and ' what the thunderstorm stands for/ symbolizes' I can catch your point there, but organizing your essay coherently is pretty important.
The word choice you make is very accurate and authentic. I love the expression like 'delicate children' 'in the long run' and etc.
So I guess 23/25 might be good enough. Keep the pace on and mind to connect the picture with your argument.
Kyon, best regards