帮我把我的英文自荐信修改下!显得高深点~（偶参加一个赴美带薪实习项目用）DearHostCompany,Mynameisxxx.IamanundergraduateChinesestudentmajorinUrbanPlanninginXi’anTechnologicalUniversity.Itisagreath

Question

帮我把我的英文自荐信修改下!显得高深点~（偶参加一个赴美带薪实习项目用）
Dear Host Company,
My name is xxx.I am an undergraduate Chinese student major in Urban Planning in Xi’an Technological University.It is a great honor for me to join this international communication program.
I’m an outgoing person and I’m fond of making new friends.I believe that this program will sure provide a great opportunity for me to get more knowledge about American culture and make a great deal of foreign friends.
I’m strong and optimistic.One of my advantages is that I have passion to what I do.Little did I complain but just find out the positive side of the tings most of time.
I am generous,easygoing,and conscience.As a secretary of Youth League branch,I can handle the relationship well between the students and teachers and I have already organized lots of interesting activities.
My goal to join this program aims at improve my oral English,know about American culture,challenge myself,acquire the ability to live alone overseas and make foreign friends.
I desire to participate in the program and get a job in America.If I get it,I will treasure the chance and do my best at work.
Sincerely yours,
xxx
我要的是修改不是翻译………………
我自己写的翻译个啥劲………………
PS：你是有道词典翻译的吧…………

Answer 1

我来给你改改吧,其实也没怎么改,就大概看了下,我要说的是,同学,你这写的是letter of Introduction_XXX吧,首先,你要把开头再加点,就是你在哪里了解到这个信息的,然后呢就是要写一些你的个人实践经历哦,如果没有社会的,也要写一些你自己在学校参加的社团或者是什么的,因为不知道你怎么了解和参加的实践,我也没办法给你弄,所以大概就看了下,还有,你要把你的优点写成一段,要有逻辑性哦,然后最后写你的目的,所以我建议,亲爱的,你要重新写哦~有什么问题百度HI我.PS：同学,我报的是美之旅,你报的机构是哪里呢?
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is xxx.I am an undergraduate Chinese student,Im' in Xi’an Technological University.It is a great honor for me to join this international communication program.
I’m an outgoing person and I’m fond of making new friends.I believe that this program will provide a great opportunity for me to get more knowledge about American culture and make a great deal of foreign friends.
I’m strong and optimistic.One of my advantages is that I have passion to what I do.Little did I complain but just find out the positive side of the tings most of time.
I am generous,easygoing,and conscience.As a secretary of Youth League branch,I can handle the relationship well between the students and teachers and I have already organized lots of interesting activities.
My goal to join this program aims at improve my oral English,know about American culture,challenge myself,acquire the ability to live alone overseas .
I desire to participate in the program and get a job in America.If I get it,I will treasure the chance and do my best at work.
Sincerely yours,
xxx