请大牛帮忙修改一篇雅思大作文啊啊谢谢!Today,peopleoftenbuyfoodtransportedfromothercountries.Doyouthinkthebenefitsofthisoutweighthedrawbacks?正文：Itisnotuncommonthatconsumersbuyimportedfoodduetotheadvan

Question

请大牛帮忙修改一篇雅思大作文啊啊谢谢!
Today,people often buy food transported from other countries.Do you think the
benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?
正文：
It is not uncommon that consumers buy imported food due to the advanced
technology.There are some benefits and drawbacks of this behaviour.In my opinion,the
drawbacks of this outweigh the benefits.
The first drawback is that transporting food over long distance increases the
consumption of fossil fuels and contributes to the global warming.It is apparently not
beneficial to the natural environment.Moreover,most long-distance food contains
additives,which not only change the taste of the food but also pose the health risks to
consumers.It is too late to compensate the consumers' body condition until they
realise how serious the safety problems of food.Fresh food is always the best choice
for people'health.The third drawback of this behaviour is that consumers' reliance on
imported food damages the economy in nearby rural areas and takes job opportunities
away from the farmers in these areas.
In spite of these drawbacks,the obvious benefits of food transported from other
countries cannot be denied.The first benefit is that food transported from overseas
gives consumers more choices.As they can buy what they want to transcend
boundaries.Obviously,international food trade helps to promote healthy competition
between food manufactures.For example,people can buy other countries'food at a low
price due to the international food trade.
In conclusion,it seems to me that the drawbacks of food transported overseas outweigh
the benefits of this.

Answer 1

这篇作文整体上不错啊,要我给分7-7.5之间了.开头处有几处单词重复使用,中间位置有一处句型结构用法不对.还有一处语法不对外基本没什么特别大问题.
文章结构整体清晰易懂.GOOD ONE：）