哪位英语高人能帮我检查一下这篇电邮这是我写给帮我申请暑期实习的一个远亲的邮件,我们之间不是太熟,对方比我大,已工作,是外资企业的白领.我主要想催问一下实习的事怎么说,成了没,还

Question

哪位英语高人能帮我检查一下这篇电邮
这是我写给帮我申请暑期实习的一个远亲的邮件,我们之间不是太熟,对方比我大,已工作,是外资企业的白领.我主要想催问一下实习的事怎么说,成了没,还有表达一下即使不成也没关系.希望各位英语达人能帮我检查一下英语表达和内容是否得体,不要表现的我太幼稚.希望大家认真看看,
Hi XXX
It's July and I'm in my summer vacation in NJ now.How are you?
My vacation lasts about 2 months till 27th,August and besides getting an intership,I also would like to take some Germany classes which could last for a month.Therefore I would appreciate it if you can tell me how is the case going and the general time of the intership so I can arrange my time.
However,if my application is rejected or there doesn't seem to be a chance this time,It'll be OK,as the most important thing to me is learning more wherever I am.I will try to find myself a part-time job in NJ.
By the way,take care of yourself during the hot summer.
Looking forward to your feedback.
Have a nice day.
XXX

Answer 1

hi
how are you!
it's July,and i'm having my summer holiday in NJ now.our holiday lasts about 2 months till 27th,August.as i said last time that i want to get an intership opportunity,therefore,i appreciate it that you can tell me how is it going right now?you know,i also want to take some Germany classes,maybe a month,so it is easy for me to arrange my time.However,if my application is rejected or there doesn't seem to be a chance for me this time,It'll be OK,as the most important thing to me is learning more wherever I am.I will try to find myself a part-time job in NJ.thank you very much.
By the way,take care of yourself during the hot summer.
looking forward to hearing from you!
have a nice day!
(你写得蛮好的,我给你稍稍改了下,希望可以帮到你o(∩_∩)o )