看看以下几个段落有没有语法错误或者用语不当?mydreamiknowawonderfulthing,justlikethetwinklestar,likeagloryrose,likethegrandsunshine.Itshowsusthewaytosuccess,theturningoflife,andthechancetodemonstrateour

Question

看看以下几个段落有没有语法错误或者用语不当?
my dream
i know a wonderful thing,just like the twinkle star,like a glory rose,like the grand sunshine.It shows us the way to success,the turning of life,and the chance to demonstrate ourselves.Yes,starry stage!that is my dream.
stage,doesn't mean showing off.it is a pure dream.
i am a ballerina,but not the top in the team.so every chance to be on the stage is precious for me.I am in luxury dress,the highlight is focus on me.music float everywhere.the air is filled with melodies.i imagine myself a swan,swimming in the melodies.the feeling is impressive.i know:i am the princess,i am ready to own the stage,the camera is pointing to me,everyone is ready to clap for me.no matter how laborious the time under stage was,i am confidently being on the stage,here is my kingdom,my chance to show myself,to surprise people with my talent!
now i'm on the stage"showing off" myself.i dream of fight myself a stage,i dream of be myself on the stage.i dream of show myself on the stage of life.
i have a dream that on day i can be on the starry stage.i have a dream that on day i can showing myself on the starry stage.i have a dream that on day i can demonstrate a wonderful me on the stage!
thank you.

Answer 1

帮亲改了一下.
my dream
i know a wonderful thing,something like a twinkling star; a glorious rose; grand sunshine.It shows us the way to success,the turning of life,and the chance to demonstrate ourselves.Yes,the stage of stars!that is my dream.
The stage,doesn't mean showing off.it is a pure dream.
i am a ballerina,but not the top of my team.hence,every chance to be on the stage is precious for me.Wearing a luxurious dress,the spotlight is focused on me.music floats everywhere.the air is filled with melodies.i imagine myself:a swan,swimming in the melodies.the feeling is impressive [个人认为用词不当,不如考虑 beautiful].i know:i am a princess,ready to take possession of the stage; the camera pointing to me,everyone ready to clap for me.no matter how laborious [tiring 好听一点,没那么不自然] my time on stage is,i am confident being on the stage.this is my kingdom,my chance to show myself,to surprise people with my talent!
now i'm on the stage "showing myself off".i dream of competing for the stage,of being myself on the stage.i dream of showing myself on the stage of life.
i have a dream that one day i can be on the stage of stars.i have a dream that one day i can show myself on that stage.i have a dream that one day i can demonstrate a wonderful "me" on the stage!
thank you.