请帮我改改这段英语,谢哩~Next,withoutadultsupervision,we’lldowrongthings.Ifyoumoveawayfromhome,yourparentscan’tsuperviseyou.Theycanvisityoufromtimetotime,butforthemostoftime,youarealoneandyoucandoanythin

Question

请帮我改改这段英语,谢哩~
Next,without adult supervision,we’ll do wrong things.If you move away from home,your parents can’t supervise you.They can visit you from time to time,but for the most of time,you are alone and you can do anything you want.In this case,it is very easy for teenagers to make bad friends.As we are still young and we don’t have many social experiences,so we come easily under the influence of gang of friends.In addition,alcohol,drugs and cigarettes are always a serious problem among young people.Without parents’ supervision,the problem may get worse.Another factor that influences gravely young people is computer games.This will solicit them abandon their study.But if they live with theirs parents at home,their parents can stop them as soon as possible.In a word,moving away from home and living alone can let young people go to a wrong way,because their guardians can’t guide them.

Answer 1

In addition,we are tend do wrong things without some guide .For someday when we are away from home as an instance,we might be living by ourselves free from the supervision of our parents.We can do whatever we wan to and make friends freely with whomever we like,including some bad guys.We teenagers might be involved in such case is due to our lack of social experiences which lead to a lack of insight to judge a man while there is no addvise for us from our parents either.What's more,alcohol,drugs and cigarettes always successfully lure young people without supervision off the straight path.This can be the same in the case when our youth meet theri favourite computer games-I think a big prat of us might stay infront the computer playing games day and night if there is not anyone saying stop to us.
我想说两句
英文和中文写作不同的地方在于英语的逻辑是非常强的,而不讲求中文的含蓄美.
一段话要证明的是中心句,这个中心句只有一个意思.你的一开头一结尾都是中心句,两个浑然不是一个意思,这个是不行的.
写英文作文最好不要用你怎么,你怎么,最好用我怎么,我们怎么或者就是年轻人怎么.
事情不是那么绝对的,不是说年轻人出去一个人住就会不好这个肯定是不对的,年轻人没有监督就一定会怎么样这也是不现实的.
希望小小建议对你有所帮助