求指导这篇英语演讲.尊敬的老师们,下午好!我很高兴站在这里和你们分享我的演讲.我的演讲主题是我的梦想.我的梦想是成为一名好的篮球运动员.当飞人乔丹再次腾空而起,当科比再次完成他

Question

求指导这篇英语演讲.
尊敬的老师们,下午好!我很高兴站在这里和你们分享我的演讲.我的演讲主题是我的梦想.我的梦想是成为一名好的篮球运动员.
当飞人乔丹再次腾空而起,当科比再次完成他那完美“风车”时,我的心里就有了一份梦想和追求——总有一天,我也能成为一名优秀的篮球运动员,在球场上展翅飞翔,书写自己的梦想!当我在球场上完成那完美的扣篮动作时,所有人都将明白：中国人也能跳!到那时,即使名利双收,我也会把所有的财富用到发展中国的篮球事业上,为民族,为国家,夫复何求?
Good afternoon, respected teachers! I’m very glad to stand here to share my speech with you. My topic is my dream. My dream is to be a good basketball player. When Air Jordan leapt through the air and When Kobe completed his perfect "windmill" again, My heart had a dream and chase------some day I can also become an excellent basketball player, spread my wings to fly in the court, and draw my own dream ! When I finish the perfect slam dunk action ,all the people will realize：Chinese can also jump! At that time, although I can win honor and wealth, I will put all the money into the development of China's basketball career for the nation, for the country, what else could I ask for? That’s all. Thanks for your listening.

Answer 1

Very good. 不过可以考虑把"the topic is my dream" 改下,"The dream of mine" will be better. "Chinese can also lump"改为"Chinese can also fly high"更贴切."My heart had a dream"改为"My heart bust out a dream" 其实已经很不错了.