托福作文求批改Nowadays,manypeoplediscussifteachersshouldmaketheirsocialorpoliticalviewsknowntostudentsintheclassroom.Manypeoplemaydisagreewithteachermaketheirsocialorpoliticalviewknowntostudentsbecausetheythin

Question

托福作文求批改
Nowadays,many people discuss if teachers should make their social or political views known to students in the classroom.Many people may disagree with teacher make their social or political view known to students because they think social or political views are not closely related to class knowledge.It wastes a lot of time to teach these views to students.However,there are also many people think it’s good for student that teachers talk about social problem at class.We can't say which one is wrong because each answer has its reason.In my opinion,I think teacher should make their social or political view known to students in the classroom.
Firstly,we should to think about political or social things in our age.So teachers can guide us to understand the society.We are now the age of 16.This means that two years later we will become an adult.When we become an adult,we must to care the politics and social.They are very necessary to us life.Our teacher always makes his social or political views known to us in the classroom.He said many of the view are very correct.He often explains some reasons about social events in his class..I think it is good for us to develop and know the world.
Secondly,teachers can tell us a lot of social or political views from the adult perspective.Adults have experienced things more than us.They think things more comprehensive.We are teenagers,so we just live in a world simply that do not need us to think things more difficult.Therefore,teachers can tell us something more comprehensive.From this,we can also learn a lot of method of thinking social or political things.
Lastly,the teacher tells about social or political views in class can make us won’t feel bored.If teachers only teach knowledge from books,we will not have a lot of interest in class.The class will be very boring.Maybe we will sleep in the class or think other things in class.If teachers tell something except books,maybe we will focus on the teacher.Therefore,we will not feel tired in class.I like teachers who like make their social or political views known to students in the classroom.
In conclusion,I would like to say,people have different thinking from different angles.All of them are correct.So we can't say which one is not correct.Because it is all our own opinions and others from the perspective of they will disagree with us.I think teachers should make their social or political views known to students in the classroom.

Answer 1

Nowadays, many people discuss if(改用whether 会较好) teachers should make their social or political views known to students in the classroom(classrooms 用复数). Many people may disagree with teacher(teachers要用复数) make(要改为making) their social or political view known to students because they think social or political views are not closely related to class knowledge. It wastes a lot of time to teach these views to students. However, there are also many people think it’s good for student(students) that(改用 when 或 if) teachers talk about social problem(problems要用复数) at(是 in) class(classes要用复数). We can't say which one is wrong because each answer has its reason(reasons要用复数). In my opinion, I think teacher(teachers) should make their social or political view known to students in the classroom.
Firstly, we should think about political or social things(要改为issues) in our age. So teachers can guide us to understand the society(要加better). We are now (要加at) the age of 16. This means that two years later we will become an adult. When we become an adult, we must (to care the 要改为 care about) politics and social (要加 matters / issues). They are very necessary(要改用important) to us(是our) life. Our teacher(teachers) (要加should 因为是你的意见) always makes(make) his(their) social or political views known to us in the classroom(s). He(要改为they)(should) (said many of the view are very correct这节表达有问题,要改为 provide us with the correct view). He(要改为They 加 should) often explains(explain) some reasons about social events in his(their) class(classes).. I think it is good for us to develop and (要加 to) know the world.
Secondly, teachers can tell us a lot of social or political views from the(要改为 their) adult perspective. Adults have experienced things more than us. They (要加 can) think (要加 of) things more comprehensive(用comprehensively 是副词). We are teenagers, so we just live in a world simply that do not need us to think (of) things (要加 with) more difficult(要改为 difficulties). Therefore, teachers can tell us something more comprehensive. From this, we can also learn a lot of method(methods) of thinking (of) social or political things(要改为matters 或 issues).
Lastly, the teacher tells(应该用 talk) about social or political views in class(classes) (can make us won’t feel bored 这句表达混乱不清,要改为 won't make us feeling bored). If teachers only teach knowledge from books, we will not have a lot of interest in class(classes). The class(classes) will be very boring. Maybe we will sleep (去掉in the class太重复) or think (要加 about)other things in class(classes). If teachers tell(要改为 talk about) something except(要改为 apart from) books, maybe we will focus on the teacher(teachers 要加 more /better). Therefore, we will not feel tired in class(classes). (应该要加Therefore) I like teachers who like (要加 to) make their social or political views known to students in the classroom(s).
In conclusion, I would like to say, people have different thinking from different angles. All of them (are correct 并非全是正确,只可以说是各有各的理由 have their own reasons). So we can't say which one is not correct. Because it is(they are) all our own opinions and (others from the perspective of they 这一节我不大明白你想表达甚麼,所以无法替你更正,但照理推测,应该是: those with the similar perspective) will disagree with us(应该是me 因为这是你自己的意见).( I think teachers should make their social or political views known to students in the classroom.这句可以去掉,因为已重复了很多次!)

已替你更正了过来,但很抱歉地说,文章有很多处有错.句子也太多重复.不过,还是祝你学业进步!

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