假设你正在参加全省中学生英语演讲比赛,请你针对有些父母经常翻看孩子日记或书包这一现象,写一篇演讲稿,陈述你的观点.演讲稿的主要内容应包括：认为同学们不必为此苦恼；

Question

假设你正在参加全省中学生英语演讲比赛,请你针对有些父母经常翻看孩子日记或书包这一现象,写一篇演讲稿,陈述你的观点.
　　演讲稿的主要内容应包括：
　　认为同学们不必为此苦恼；
　　希望能够体谅父母的苦衷；
　　建议与父母进行交流和沟通.注意：
　　1.词数100左右；
　　2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯；
　　3.开头和结尾已为你写好,不计入总词数.
　　Good morning,ladies and gentleman.
　　Some of us are having problems with our parents,as they often look into our school bags or read our diaries.Nowadays,it is common to parents to look into our school bags.And some parents like reading our diaries,because they think they can know everything about us.But,the students don’t want their secret to be known,so there are always some problem between the students and their parents.
As far as I’m concerned,students needn’t worried about the problem,the parents just care about you,so tell them something happens to you,and then they won’t do that again.Not only the students should understand their parents’ behaviors,but also the parents are supposed to understand the students.So I think that tell and show what you think is a very good way to solve the problem.
For my part,it is necessary to tell with parents.Only in this way we can solve the problem.
Thank you!

Answer 1

先给你指出几处明显的小错误吧.第一段gentleman改为gentlemen,用复数.第二段中schoolbag中间不用空格,第二行 it is common to parents ……改为“It is a commen phenomenon for parents to look……”可能会好些.because they think they can know everything about us 后面最好加上 from them.so there are always some problem between ……句中的problem用复数.
第三段“…… but also the parents are supposed to understand the students”中末尾改为students'. “Only in this way we can solve the problem.”这句话要用倒装句式.
个人的建议,文中的一些用词可以再推敲一下,比如tell with 出现的频率太高.有些句子似乎没有表达出完整的意思,可以再润色一下.比如文末的For my part, it is necessary to tell with parents好像意犹未尽似的.可以加一句That’s all for my speech,这样更礼貌些.