帮忙完成这份英文的自我介绍明天要面试了,今天才赶完自我介绍,有些地方不会写,还有些地方可能是错的,让我的自我介绍好看点,MynameisXXX.I'mfromJincheng,asmalltowninShanxiprovince.Althoughthere

Question

帮忙完成这份英文的自我介绍
明天要面试了,今天才赶完自我介绍,有些地方不会写,还有些地方可能是错的,让我的自我介绍好看点,
My name is XXX.I'm from Jincheng,a small town in Shanxi province.Although there are no famous mountains or beautiful lakes,I love my hometown very much.And I had a wonderful time and a fantastic memory of my initial life there.
I met my first English teacher when I entered the junior middle school.She is a really friendly and lovely lady.I learnt a lot from her,not only about how to learn English,but also about how to be a brave and confident girl.
Just because of her (她的影响啊或者在她的引导下,不知道该怎么写.）,I began to enjoy the company of English.I began to listen to English songs,read English books and watch some English TV programs.I (沉醉于或者被...所深深吸引）those beautiful songs and indescribable stories.English has already became one of my best friends.
I've known that the English Radio Station is a very excellent team.And I really want to participate in it so that I can improve my English,learn more about the different culture of other coutries,share my happiness got from movies and music with others and know more and make friends with the top English learners.
If you can give me a chance,I'll do my best to make our station a better place.

Answer 1

大概看了看 写的还可以嗷 就是思维方式还是比较中式 多看点国外的情景剧
你的文体我没有变动 要全变了就不是你自己的想法了 有些地方帮你修改了一下
My name is XXX and I'm from Jincheng,a small town in Shanxi province,although there are no famous mountains or beautiful lakes,I still love my hometown very much.And I had a wonderful time and a fantastic memory of my early life there.(one's early life 某人的早年生活)
I met my first English teacher when I entered the junior middle school.She is a really friendly and lovely lady.I learnt a lot from her,not only about how to learn English,but also about how to be a brave and confident girl.
Under her influence(她的影响啊或者在她的引导下）,I began to really enjoy this language,(你原先的表达很奇怪,我知道你要说的是享受英语的陪伴,但是那样说实在太中国了.)I started listening to English songs,reading English books and watching some English TV programs.I am completely attracted by those beautiful songs and indescribable stories.English has already become one of my best friends.
Now I've known that the English Radio Station is a very excellent team and I really want to be a part of it so that I can on one hand improve my English,learn more about the different culture of other countries,on the other hand I can share my happiness that I got from movies and music with others and know more and make friends with the top English learners.(top?他们程度有多高?)(我加了on one hand...on the other hand...这个句型 因为你排列的部分太长了 )
If you can give me a chance,I'll do all my best to help make this station a better place.（说help make 比较谦虚,以后去公司工作的话,这种虚伪还是要的 hoho~office politics也是很惊人的.）