BEC中级写作parttwo,不对不好的句子请帮忙挑出来.还有如果这样写能及格吗youworkforPJTLTD.,amanufacturingcompany,youneedmorestaffinyoudepartmentandyoulinemanangerhasaskedyoutowriteareportexplainingw

Question

BEC中级写作 part two,不对不好 的句子请帮忙挑出来.还有 如果这样写能及格吗
you work for PJT LTD.,a manufacturing company,you need more staff in you department and you line mananger has asked you to write a report explaining why.
report on:number of staff
date:2011.2.3
The purpose of the report is aiming on recruiting more staff members
as you know we had 50 staffs in 2001 and we are now having 53 staffs but our orders has risen twice from 200 to 400.We received a lot of complaint recently about delayed delievery.the suatiation become even worse when company decided to increased the annual holiday to 5 weeks,and a big order will come to our depardment as the sales department announced that they got from a international company.I think we have no people to do get this work done,so in my opinion it's time to recruit some people.
Best regards
Derek

Answer 1

The purpose of the report is (aiming on这个短语的用法是aim to,用在这路略显多余) recruiting more staff members
as you know we had 50 staffs in 2001 and we are now having 53 staffs but our orders has risen twice(直接用doubled) from 200 to 400.We received a lot of complaint(是不是改用复数?) recently about delayed delievery（单词拼写错误,再者英语的一半用法是delay of delivery,更通顺一些）.the suatiation become（第三人称单数?过去式?用原型是肯定不对的） even worse when company decided to increased the annual holiday to 5 weeks,and a big order will come to our depardment as the sales department announced （that they got from去掉） a （用an）international company.I think （report里尽量别用i think）we have no (enough好一点)people to do get（语法错误,双谓语） this work done,so in my opinion it's time to recruit some people.
Best regards（sincerely yours）
Derek
总结：不太会及格.文章有不少低级错误,估计阅卷人看过后印象会不好的,因为阅卷人都是很严谨的英国人,希望你再接再励.