以下是我根据一组词作的小段作文,请英语老师或英语好的同学指点一下.Afewdaysaga以下是我根据一组词作的小段作文,请英语老师或英语好的同学指点一下.Afewdaysago,mywifeandithoughttovisit

Question

以下是我根据一组词作的小段作文,请英语老师或英语好的同学指点一下.A few days aga
以下是我根据一组词作的小段作文,请英语老师或英语好的同学指点一下.
A few days ago,my wife and i thought to visit her sister,but we didn't phone her in advance.it is 7 PM,we aeeived hers house and i knocked the door.my wife's sister opened her door the moment she got a surprise."we are coming for play ma-jong" I said.
actually,we don't usually play ma-jong.even we play,we just frequently play with my wife's kinsam and we rarely play it with other people.
" Do you collect some change for ma-jong" my wife's sister asked."don't repeat" I answered "you even did no need to ask "
during that night,my wife always got luckly.she won the money all of us that she never did.because she is not as good at playing as others .her sister's husbend said "what a marvellous night I never lose so much “
The table which we played was towards the window of living room.when the early hours of the morning ,i looked out of the window,I saw the snow was beging.it was softly,I almost sleeped ,I guess that why i lose money

Answer 1

A few days ago,my wife and i 【considered（wanted）】 to visit her sister,but 【we去掉】 didn't 【call】 her in advance.
【at】【或者改成it is…that的句式】7 PM,we 【aeeived hers两个拼写】 house and i knocked the door.my wife's sister opened her door【surprisedly】.
"we are coming 【to play】ma-jong【Mahjong?麻将?】" I said.
actually,we don't play ma-jong【 frequently】.
even we play,we just【usually】 play with my wife's kinsam and we rarely play it with other people.
" Do you collect some change for ma-jong" my wife's sister asked."don't repeat" I answered "you even did 【not】 need to ask "
during that night,my wife always got【 luck】.she won【a large sum of money from】all of us that she never did. because she is not as good at playing as others .
her sister's husbend said "what a 【marvellous咳,美妙的?!inconceivable/unimaginable】 night ! I【have never lost】 so much “
The table which we played 【on】was towards the window of living room.
the early hours of the morning ,【when】 i looked out of the window,I saw the snow 【beginning】. it was softly, I almost 【fell asleep】 ,I guess that【was】 why i 【lost】 money
尽量改掉了我注意到的语法错误以及不符合语言习惯的地方.整体写的不错,如果你是初中生的话.高中生就写的太过于贫乏和简单化了,要用高级词汇和语法,表述上也要灵活生动一些.
你的那一组词是什么,希望没被我删掉,(*^__^*) .